Pastor John D Jakes

The Hectic Family – They are never satisfied

For the next several weeks I want to identify the marks of the hurried and often run over family.  In fact, Tim Kimmel of Family Life identifies seven marks of a family that is overstressed.  They are hectic! As we look at them, perhaps we will see a bit of ourselves!

The fourth mark of the hurried family is an absence of certainty. The uncertainty of their lives bleeds into everything. They always start well, but they never finish. Their undone projects fill their work rooms. They never have enough time because they are over-committed.  They can’t say no.  They aren’t overcommitted because they care too much. They are overcommitted because they enjoy the rush.  They enjoy the feeling of starting something new.

The hectic family’s uncertainty also leeches into their relationships.  Without the core of certainty that values give us, relationships become a means to an end.  The end might be happiness or pleasure or some type of prestige.  Husbands and wives can do this to each other.  Even children can become pawns in this game.

Why does this happen?  How can a family lose their moorings so completely so that they start to use one another? How can a family get to the place where they are okay with the reputation that they are unreliable and fickle?

How does it happen? The family is too busy to think about what they are becoming. They didn’t start like this.  They didn’t set out to become users of one another. They didn’t set out to give up their relationships and their reputations. They just never slow down to see where their choices will take them.  They are moving so fast, that they cannot see their destination.

Hear the urging of the Holy Spirit, slow down! Think about where this train is taking you. If we do not slow down, we may not like where we end up. Are you so stretched you can’t see where you are going?  Are you justifying small compromises of your standards because you just don’t have time to live up to them? Are people an obstacle or tool for you to use to get what you want?  Stop, slow down before you weep over the time that cannot be regained.

Here’s to families,

Pastor John